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The Permission You Never Needed: A Stoic Answer to Feeling Alone in a Crowd

Why do I feel so alone even when I’m surrounded by people? Why do I need everyone’s approval? Why am I so tired? This essay explores what Stoic philosophy , from Marcus Aurelius to Epictetus and Seneca , teaches about loneliness, approval, guilt, and protecting your peace. For years I thought someone stood beyond the gate, holding the word that would set me free. Then the morning arrived before the messenger. The gate was open. The mountains were silent. The path was waiting. Nothing asked for proof of who I was. Only the walking remained. The Permission You Never Needed I can’t sleep tonight. Do you? A friend told me today that there is a question people type into the dark at three in the morning, usually without punctuation: why do I feel so alone even when I’m surrounded by people? How tragic, I said. But lying awake now, I am no longer sure tragic is the right word. A question like that is not a defeat. It is a hand reaching out in the dark, hoping someone is on the other sid...
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Epictetus: From Chains to Wisdom

Imagine being born into slavery and rising to become one of the most influential philosophers of your time. This is the remarkable story of Epictetus, a Stoic whose teachings continue to inspire us today. Born around 50 AD in Hierapolis (modern-day Pamukkale, Turkey), Epictetus’s journey from slavery to sage hood is nothing short of extraordinary.

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Early Life and Challenges

Epictetus was born into slavery and spent his early years serving a wealthy Roman named Epaphroditus. Despite his low status, Epictetus had a burning desire for knowledge. His master allowed him to study philosophy, and he became a student of Musonius Rufus. This education laid the foundation for his future teachings.


The Philosophy of Stoicism

For Epictetus, Stoicism was not just a set of ideas but a way of life. He believed that while we cannot control external events, we can control our reactions. This core principle of Stoicism teaches us to focus on what we can change and accept what we cannot. Epictetus emphasized that true freedom comes from within and that our happiness depends on our actions and attitudes.


Key Teachings

Epictetus’s teachings were recorded by his student Arrian. These are found in two main works: the “Discourses” and the “Enchiridion” (or “Handbook”). Here are some of his key ideas:

  • Control and Acceptance: Epictetus taught that we should distinguish between what is within our control and what is not. By accepting what we cannot change, we can achieve inner peace.
  • Virtue and Character: He believed that the foundation of a good life is virtue, which includes wisdom, courage, justice, and self-discipline.
  • Practical Philosophy: Epictetus emphasized that philosophy should be practical and guide our daily actions. It is not just about theoretical discussions but about living a virtuous life.


From Rome to Nicopolis

Epictetus’s teachings gained popularity in Rome, but in 93 AD, Emperor Domitian banished all philosophers from the city. Epictetus moved to Nicopolis in Greece, where he founded a school of philosophy. His school attracted students from all over the Roman Empire, eager to learn from the wise philosopher.


The Legacy of Epictetus

Epictetus’s influence extends far beyond his lifetime. His teachings have inspired countless individuals, including the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who often referred to Epictetus in his writings.


A Timeless Wisdom

Epictetus’s life and teachings remind us that true strength comes from within. No matter our circumstances, we have the power to choose our responses and cultivate inner peace. As we navigate the challenges of modern life, we can look to Epictetus for guidance and inspiration. I do, what about you?

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Image: "Senator of Ancient Rome" by Cristofolux from Getty Images licensed by Canva, Quote: from www.goodread.com.

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